My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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