I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
