Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
