wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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