Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
