No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
