i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
