the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
