I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
