She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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