it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
