did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
