I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
