booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
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