...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
