New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
