How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
