Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
