i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
