All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
third nipple confirmed
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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