THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
