Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
