The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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