Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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