if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
