I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
