well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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