why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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