I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
