I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
