That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
