it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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