he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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