I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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