normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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