can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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