there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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