is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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