Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
