Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Alive.
So much puke
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
