Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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