What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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