My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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