I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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