do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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