What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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