Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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