I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
