chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
