yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
