You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
