And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
