that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
