the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
